Before continuing - answer the question. "How are you?"
If your answer included the words "Good" or "Bad", read on. If it was something different, well, I am curious... so please respond.
As a Christian, you are called to lead. You cannot fulfill the great commission without leading.
Matt 28:19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit"
Please don't miss the point here.
There is a process of maturity that happens and continues to happen in your walk with the Lord:
Step 1. Be a good follower of the Lord. (Be covered)
Step 2. Take others with you. (Cover others)
There is no skipping steps in the process - skipped steps will lead to correction by the Lord - which I will attest is not a great feeling.
You may find that in your job and or in your other groups you are doing a lot more covering than being covered. One thing that the enemy does to us is that he allows us to take leadership roles and then convinces us that vulnerability as a leader is weakness. (This is only a half truth because the Kingdom perspective is that "(His) power is perfected in weakness.") Consequently we put on a good face and clean our spiritual houses by throwing these "small issues" in a closet or unused room, or we sweep them under the rug. If we are never submitting these things to others that we trust that will cover us in prayer, the issues pile up. When a bunch of these "small issues" pile up, "Be sure that your sin will find you out."
"THESE ARE ONLY SMALL ISSUES, OVERALL THINGS ARE GOOD"
Keep in mind that Kingdom life is not "the good life" it is THE ABUNDANT LIFE. The good Christian life has become the enemy of the abundant Christian life. This does not mean that there will be no troubles (Jn 16:33), it means that you are able to see Him and hear His still small voice:
1 Kings 19
11 The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”...the LORD was not in the wind. ... the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 ... the LORD was not in the fire. - AND AFTER THE FIRE CAME A GENTLE WHISPER.
How is your relationship with your Father in heaven?
How are you as an individual? outside of the context of your kids and your spouse?
How are you as a spouse?
How are you as a parent?
If your normal response to any of these questions would be "good", remember that we were never supposed to know the difference between good and evil. That is part of the fall. We were only supposed to be sons and daughters of The Living God. Hearing from Him always and obeying - living an abundant life.
We are at war with an enemy that is trying to steal from us, kill us, and destroy us. The problem is that since true believers will live eternally, we are walking around spiritually maimed while lightly suggesting "it's just a flesh wound." This is not abundant life. If we are walking with Him, we are walking in righteousness and we get spiritually healed/restored. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true - if we are not walking with Him, we are walking in sin, and will not be healed/restored.
If you are not living an abundant life, what can you do?
1) Go back to step 1 - Being covered
Be pastored, be mentored, be discipled. You have to be vulnerable with someone and share your heart. Ask the Lord to reveal someone who can walk with you through this time - and be sure you commit to the process. The Lord may surprise you by the person/couple He shows you. They may not be who you would have chosen, but let's face it - His ways are higher than your ways. Trust Him even when it hurts.
2) Submit each aspect of your life to Him
Did you start leading a group that you never really heard Him say to start leading? Or are you leading a group that you know He asked you to start leading years ago but you haven't asked recently if that is what He still wants from you? If you are doing something on autopilot, He is probably not with you doing it. Keep in mind that He is not interested in what you are doing FOR Him... just what you are doing WITH Him
3) Fast and Pray
Deny yourself and ask Him for help and guidance. You are His child and He wants to speak to you. Even if you stopped listening before - He is still speaking to you. Something that I have put into practice when I can't hear Him - I think about the last thing that I know He told me and then I start being obedient to that again while submitting it back to Him.
What are your thoughts? We are all still in process being changed from glory to glory.